i permit you to call me
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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