It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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