There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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