Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
