ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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