dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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