I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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