im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Found your dick twin last night
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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