She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
