Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize