He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
