I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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