How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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