dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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