I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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