why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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