Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Panties = found
Randomize
