You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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