Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
