I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
