I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
