Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize