PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
