In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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