I just cut my nipple shaving
accomplished twins. life is a go
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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