Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
