we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
