It's like a parade of train wrecks.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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