I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
