R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
