worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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