check it out our google latitudes are spooning
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
