I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize