His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
