all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
