Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
