Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
