i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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