I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He felt like a one man threesome
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
