I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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