It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
