so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
