Already got asked if we're dating
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
