proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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