So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
