it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
