I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
