She is in my trunk
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
