Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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