I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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