It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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