Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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