it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
