I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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