I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
