Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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