Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
