Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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