I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
