But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Randomize
