New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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