Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
