mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
