I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
