is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
