I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize